


The Braincell Club

by Ellipsis_DotDotDot



Series: The Braincell Club [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alix is Annoyed™, Alix is also bored, Alix knows the heroes' secret identities, Gen, she totally figures it out herself, so a new club is started, they have a club group chat, this is in no way related to The Breakfast Club
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:15:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27715318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellipsis_DotDotDot/pseuds/Ellipsis_DotDotDot
Summary: Being the only person who seemed to have a whole brain cell in an entire class is so annoying. Seriously. How long can everyone else be obsessed over ONEhighly unlikelySHIP??? And why does everyone believe Lila?? Ugh. So that’s why, one day, Alix starts the Braincell Club, a club for smart people to have intelligent - if sometimes cryptic - conversations. Oh, and discuss the anomalous case of stupidity known as the staff and students of Francois-Dupont. It’s chaotic at times, fun all around, and secrets hardly exist between the club members - except for the heroes’ identities, Alix won’t tell anyone those.
Series: The Braincell Club [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027137
Comments: 20
Kudos: 46





	1. Prologue

_Dang the school day, and while we’re at it, dang Lila too. All her stories take up way too much time, and when class is in session, I can’t even put on an audiobook and ignore her,_ Alix grumbled internally as Lila continued spinning her super- _obvious_ , Theridiidae-style web of lies.

Oh yes, contrary to popular belief, Alix was fully aware of and fully _over_ Lila’s lies. Day in and day out, Lila spewed stories to everyone who’d lap it up. They came like sheep to the slaughter - _An all too accurate simile,_ Alix thought bitterly. Most of the class believed that Lila would give them an easy path to all their dreams - but the lazy freeloaders would receive a rude awakening instead.

Yes, Alix had noticed that her classmates seemed to take whatever easy opportunities came their way. They would never pay for commissions from Marinette (except for herself and Chloe, on the rare and secretive occasions the heiress asked for a commission), despite the fact that they _should_ be paying hundreds of dollars - clothes were expensive enough already, but Marinette’s were designed, cut, sewn, and oftentimes paid for by the girl herself. And don’t let Alix get started on the embroidered ones, or the ones with rhinestones, sequins, and beads. All of those were hand-sewn, and what pay does Marinette get for her labor? None! (Honestly, the skater girl had considered slapping some _sense_ into the bluenette… on multiple occasions.)

And as for Lila… Seriously. Why did the class have to share one brain cell? _Why_? A harrowing rescue of a kitten from an _airplane_ would undoubtedly result in permanent hearing loss and probably blast burns or something from the engine, and here was Lie-la, claiming she came away with only tinnitus. It was one of the most annoying things in the world, and Alix _hated_ it. And for the love of all things _sane_ , crumpled-up paper napkins _cannot_ take out an eye!!!! _Especially_ if the person it might hit is _wearing glasses_!!! Max is supposed to have a brain cell!!!

Alix allowed her mind to drift during class - she could still hear and see, and her mind was absorbing that information even if she wasn’t actively paying attention - and in her rambling thoughts, she remembered something that had been mentioned earlier about clubs…? That got the pinkette thinking… Hmm… What if she started a club? One that was exclusive, yeah, to filter out certain people so that those who had actual brain cells could participate in intelligent conversation. Alix already knew which teacher could be the adult supervisor - Mme. Mendeleiev was completely immune to Lila’s falsehoods, and had kind of? figured out kwamis all by herself, from a video that showed cheese being eaten by an unseen being.

As for other members… well, they’d have to wait and see, but Alix was sort of leaning towards two levels of membership - one for people who possess enough brain cells to realize that Lila is lying, and another for those who additionally figured out a big secret - figured out, _not_ they were told or they stumbled upon it or whatever. Alix would fall in the second category, since she had actually figured out who Ladybug was during Evillustrator, and Chat Noir during Horrificator. The other heroes were easy to figure out too, provided enough info was given. (Seriously, Alya needs to work on her excuses.)

Alix mentally filed away her plan for later. For now, back to the lesson.


	2. Chapter One - Forming the Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title is pretty self-explanatory - it's just that, Forming the club.

“...And that’s my plan for the Braincell Club!” Alix finished her presentation with enthusiasm.

She’d been working on this for a ‘week’ (Read: she had the plan done in two days but waited so it’d look normal) and was now pitching it to Principal Damocles, who was reviewing each of the clubs before deciding whether to allow them. Alix decided to clarify, just in case her presentation muddles it, that all she really needed was approval and a classroom - everything else would be covered by the club.

M. Damocles leaned back in his chair, contemplating his options. Being the man he was, he consulted his AI Albert. “Albert! Should or should I not allow Ms. Kubdel to start this club?”

Fortunately, Albert’s programming had come leaps and bounds since the Dark Owl incident, and the digital assistant promptly replied, “Yes.”

The principal turned to Alix, who was still waiting expectantly. Raising his eyebrow, he said, “Well, what are you waiting for? There’s your answer, now go!”

Alix silently cheered to herself as she left Damocles’ office. The Braincell Club was a go! She already had several members in mind - herself, of course, Nathaniel, as he was the only one to date who had figured out Alix’s own secret (aside from Mme. Mendeleiev and… _Her_ ), Marinette could be a second-level member because she knew of Rossi’s lies and was _totally_ Ladybug, Adrien might be allowed to come too, Marc because he basically came with Nathaniel… hmm. Wonder if there are more possible members? Well, for now, just the four (or five?) of them will do.

[Author: Oh? What’s that you ask? What’s Alix’s secret? Well if I said it, that would be telling, wouldn’t it?]

As it _was_ the end of the school day, Alix headed home, intending to prepare for the first meeting of the Braincell Club - as soon as she texted the people she was going to ask to join. Pulling out her phone, the skater quickly shot texts to each of the potential club members.

**_Sk8r created a new chat._ **

**_Sk8r added Tomato Head, Rainbow Writer, and What Do You Need? to the chat._ **

_Sk8r: Hey guys, I’ve started a club. Want to join? It’s called the Braincell Club, for people who are tired of Rossi’s lies and who want to have intelligent conversations. Bonus points if you’ve figured out a big_ _secret._

_What Do You Need?: Count me in._

_Rainbow Writer: Oh hey, that sounds cool. Can we talk about LB?_

_Sk8r: Absolutely. And we can discuss conspiracies and things that are up in the air about her and CN too._

_Rainbow Writer: Great._

_Tomato Head: Yeah, I’m in. And I guess that means I get bonus points._ 😊

_Sk8r: Yes, yes you do. Just don’t spill, OK? My secrets are my secrets._

**_Sk8r renamed the chat The Braincell Club._ **

_Tomato Head: Ma’am yes ma’am._

_What Do You Need?: Secrets?_

_Rainbow Writer: What are you talking about?_

_Sk8r: NOTHING!_

_Tomato Head: I’m forbidden from telling. I prefer my head un-whacked-with-a-shovel, thank you._

_Rainbow Writer: WAT._

_Tomato Head: It’s a joke, it’s a joke._

_Sk8r: I’m not allowed near the shovels anyways._

_What Do You Need?: I feel like there’s a story behind this._

_Sk8r: There is._

_Rainbow Writer: And to get back on track, Alix, what are you not telling us?_

_Sk8r: Were you not here for ‘My secrets are my secrets’?_

_Rainbow Writer: … Is this a trick question?_

_Tomato Head: Yes._

_Tomato Head: Also, Alix, you’re probably going to have to tell them at some point._

_Sk8r: *sighs* I know. Especially if we’re going to do the ‘Book of Secrets’ that i have planned for the club…_

_What Do You Need: When do we meet anyway?_

_Sk8r: Wednesdays, after school, in Mme. Mendeleiev’s classroom._

_Sk8r: But I’ve planned a start-up meeting on Saturday. Still need a place though._

_What Do You Need?: We can meet at my place._

_Sk8r: You don’t have anything that has a deadline too soon, do you?_

_What Do You Need?: No._

_Sk8r: Are you sure?_

_What Do You Need?: Yes, Alix._

_Sk8r: …_

_Sk8r: Fine. What times are available?_

_What Do You Need?: Come over at nine._

_What Do You Need?: And Alix, you can trust us with your secret._

_Sk8r: …_

_Sk8r left the chat._

_Tomato Head: She’s not comfortable with sharing her secret. There was an…_ incident _back in the second and third grades that she told me about._

_Tomato Head: That’s how I figured her out, but… she doesn’t want it happening again._

_Tomato Head: She’ll tell you when she’s ready. But not before._

_Tomato Head left the chat._

_What Do You Need?: Well, I guess that’s that. See you Saturday._

**_What Do You Need left the chat._ **

**_Rainbow Writer left the chat._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooo, intrigue! Who is _Her_? What is Alix's mysterious secret? Well, that would be telling, wouldn't it? *laughs* Don't worry too much, next chapter'll have the reveal. There is a slight, slight clue in the prologue - read it closely if you're curious. Plus don't forget to add that to The Mysterious Benedict Society - think about Mr. Benedict and Sticky - what do they have in common? ... Okay, that was kinda an 'if you've read the series' thing, but it's the best clue I had, okay? I will mention if someone figures it out before my next post though! I'll try to remember to wait a week, but no guarantees! *sighs* Unfortunately... Anyway, comments and kudos are adored, and until next time, God bless!
> 
> PS Sk8r is Alix, Tomato Head is Nathaniel, What Do You Need? is the ever-helpful Marinette, and Rainbow Writer is, of course, Marc. Because Marc and Nathaniel are a set - you get one, you get the other. I don't make the rules.

**Author's Note:**

> Da-duh!! That's the prologue! Hope you liked it! Working on chapter one, which should come soon! Because in no way do I want to delay the beginning of Alix's club. I really really appreciate comments and kudos, please point out any typos or grammatical errors if you notice any, and until next time, God bless!


End file.
